Really tired of waiting

Here’s the weird thing about this international adoption journey: Some days I’m grateful for these waning hours of peace and quiet with my sweet husband and I’m filled with patience, other days I’m climbing the wall desperate for information that won’t come. Today is more like the latter.

The last news we received was that the U.S. Embassy wanted to interview Eliana’s birth mother again, and that they needed some more details about the death of our boys’ father. The interview with the birth mother was completed on April 11th, yet we’ve had no news from the embassy about whether or not their questions were satisfied. Despite contacting our agency in Washington state, the embassy directly, and the orphanage director in Addis, I’ve got no answers today.

What makes for a day of peace vs. a day of anxiety? Partly it’s the length of time between bits of news, partly it’s how distracted I am by work and crises of other natures (we’ve had many of these recently!). Sometimes it just feels like it’s been too long. An unreasonable amount of time to wait to bring these kids home. An unreasonable amount of time for them to wait to move on with their lives. An unreasonable amount of time between news bytes. If I knew going into it that it would take this long, would I have been able to subject myself to the torture? I don’t think I would have. Prayer is the most effective way to combat down days. Chocolate helps, and time with people you love.

And what of the children, how do little ones weather a wait like this? Melkam has hardly known life other than in an institution waiting for a mommy and a daddy.

By all accounts I’ve heard, when a family goes to pick up their kid(s) at the orphanage, unless they are babies and don’t grasp what’s going on, they are READY to go. Ready to walk out the gates of the orphanage. Ready to be in a family of their own. Ready for personal attention, doting fathers and mothers, a dedicated audience, safe arms to turn to. Yes, they often have sadness leaving their friends or saying goodbye at the farewell celebration, but they are oh so ready to go.

Aren’t they brave? I can’t imagine what it must be like for them. Some of you have been adopted or forced to embrace new caregivers at a tender young age. I wonder what your memories of that are like.

We are thinking fondly of our kids today and wishing we had some news to share. My distraction this week, aside from my job, is preparing for an estate sale on Saturday. Clearing out and making way for all the gear and stuff that comes with and for kids. Spring cleaning for our house, our garage, our life. Sounds refreshing!

3 responses to “Really tired of waiting

  • Dakota Corey

    I HEAR you Kimberly. The waiting is SO hard. I really felt like I was loosing my sanity toward the end. While our kids were definitely eager to walk away from their orphanages and not look back, I don’t know for sure that the wait in between finding out about us and actually coming home was too tough for them. I think time passes differently for children – they live more moment to moment.

    We were thinking about you guys today while watching our kids play. Will your estate sale allow you enough room for a trampoline in the back yard? Hands down the BEST purchase we’ve (actually my parents) made for our kids. I think the bouncing may even be therapeutic on some level. They love it and we do too!

  • Shelly

    Oh Kimberly, I remember the ache and the wait! Saying a prayer for you right now. The photos are great! The one of T is awesome and I am celebrating that she is still in room 3 and wearing a super cute GIRL outfit! What blessings! I can’t believe she is still in that room! YAHOO! I will pray that she goes home right from there!

    So I just read Dakota’s comment and I remember reading in attachment books that bouncing is VERY good for attachment. You should be praising your kids and telling them of your love for them as you bounce. We just sit on an exercise ball, but I find it is very helpful and fun for all!

  • Kristin

    Oh Sissor…sorry you have to wait so long.
    Hang in there.

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