Today has been a day that included the full spectrum of parenting: Snuggles, “I missed you Mommy”‘s after school with hugs, laughter, breakfast-making, lunch-making, dinner-making, school meetings, big decisions, reading time, potty training, homework help…AND…”I hate you. I wish you weren’t my parents. You are mean.” refusal of eye contact, banging on things, tears, defiance, rage, hyperventilating. And a fairly rapid return to calm and peace. Trying to celebrate the fact that the kid who was raging put words to his feelings. That’s a step in the right direction. and that he didn’t have a complete meltdown. In my weakness, however, I find it hard to celebrate the “I hate you”‘s and the “I wish you weren’t my parents.” I always take a moment to remind him that neither of us has a choice in that…that I’m his mom and that’s that, and while he can walk away when he’s 18, up until that point he lives in my house and follows my rules (including the one that says banging and trying to break cabinets is not allowed.) I started to try to point out that if I hated him I would never challenge him to practice his reading homework, because I wouldn’t care if he learned or not. Then I reminded myself how useless it is to communicate with a raging child, and decided to let it go.
I’m tired. And ready to start again tomorrow!
Here’s a video I took of Eliana on Friday night. I have watched it several times, partly to try to figure out exactly what words she was putting to the tune of The First Noel. She was all wound up and having the best time with her friend. Watch for the moment toward the end when her dear little friend holds up a hand and says “Stop!” Doesn’t every girl need a friend like that? Someone who’s willing to be a supportive sidekick while you parade around, full of yourself, and then to be honest with you when you start to get annoying? I hope they stay close and we get to watch this itty bitty bff relationship develop. Ellie’s just finally at the age where she is enjoying scampering off to play with a friend. It’s awesome!
And now it’s time for an episode of Downton Abbey on the Kindle and a good night’s sleep.